In yesterday's Globe & Mail, Margaret Wente claims that people can get to a much greater depth of understanding and "perfection" of self through a married relationship than they can possibly do if they remain single.
"...the road to self-actualization isn't through perfection of the independent self, but through imperfect, messy, long-term relationships. Everybody needs someone else to nurture, and someone to stand up for them, and someone to plan the future with, and someone with whom they share a past."Wente stumbles into one of the most annoyingly common false dichotomies surrounding this issue: either you're married or you're alone. And she continues that single people are lonely implying, of course, that loneliness never ventures into a marriage, that it's solely a quality of aloneness. I've never been married, yet I know too well the messiness of relationships with myriad friends and colleagues whom I nurture, stand up for, and with whom I share a past. We don't plan a future together in the same "until death" way that some married people manage, but that shared future in marriage is often illusory. The future is unknowable. Shit happens, and happily married people can still end up on their own.